Special Guest at the Post Office

Nice Lady:  “I need a sheet of stamps:”
Nice Clerk: “Which kind?”
Nice Lady: “Oh, I guess I want to get Breast Cancer.”
Richard [cracks up]

For young people. Stamps are small stickers you put on an envelope and someone will deliver the actual physical item to a distant location. Stamps have pictures on them, and these change and have themes. This months theme is “Breast Cancer Awareness.”

Jail

Paige: “Write your last name also.”
Isaac [whining]: “Noooo, I don’t want to!”
Richard: “You have to know how to spell your last name.  What if you get arrested?  If you can’t spell your last name for the police, we won’t be able to find you and get you out of jail.”
Isaac: “Okay. Fine. R – O . . .”

Portal

Isaac:  “I wonder if this portal is working yet?”  [Runs full speed into wall].  “Nope, still broken.”

Joe:  “Maybe you aren’t doing it right.  Let me try.”  [Runs full speed into wall].   “Oh, you were right.  It’s still broken.”

Damn Gloves

Isaac [putting on his coat]: “Uh oh. I lost a glove.”
Richard: “Damn it Isaac!  You can’t lose a glove everyday! Winter is just starting.”
Isaac: “Don’t say that!   ‘Damn It’ is a bad word!”
Richard: “Okay, you’re right.  I’m sorry.   But you still can’t keep losing gloves!!”
Isaac  [feeling put upon]:  “Don’t say that either!”