Old

N. [standing behind me while we watch Bugs Bunny on the computer]: “Um, Richard, there’s a weird hair growing out of your ear.”

(This is one of my favorites)

Behave

Richard [to Isaac, who is on his way out the door with Paige]: “Isaac, I don’t want to hear about any misbehavior when you get back.”
Isaac: “Okay.  Mom!  Don’t tell Dad about my misbehavior when we get back!” [giggles]

Triplets

Isaac makes up a joke.
Isaac: “How do you make triplets?”
Paige: “Is this a joke?”
Isaac: “Yes”
Paige: “How do you make triplets?”
Isaac: “Get two twins and another kid and light them on fire.  Get it?  Trip – LITS!”